Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
