he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Life is so much better after having sex.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
