I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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