I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
