The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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