What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
