Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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