you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
