your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
