I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
pop tarts are not kleenex
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
