she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
