just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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