I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
BRING THE BAGELS
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
