Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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