Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
