You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
