It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
