We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize