East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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