That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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