I'm really into asian looking animals
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
