the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
