i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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