I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
