the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Can I color on your dick again?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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