There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
