Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
