Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
