Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
