he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
