Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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