I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
birth control should be required to get into college
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
