i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize