Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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