Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
