Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize