honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
