You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
