i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize