bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
