where does the pee come out of this thing
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize