I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
this hospital has no fireball
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
