The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize