Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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