new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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