let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
