it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The adults are the big ones right?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
