id be glad to
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
