I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
