That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
