You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
