First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she peed on how many people?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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