im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
