Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
