Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
