i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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