I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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