Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
