All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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