So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
