i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
