I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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