I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
