Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
