Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
