did you get engaged???
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
