I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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