I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
it's like iHOP with fire
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize