I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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